Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Long and Winding Road

Been a bit since my last post.  I guess I've just been busy: trying to play catch up from all the inactivity of the past year.  I've been feeling much better lately but still have a bit of work to do. 

I recently ended the relationship I was in.  It was the best break up ever. Were actually "friends with benefits" now. I didn't think I could do it but I'm getting better with all the sex, love, relationship, etc stuff.  I'm moving a few hours away but will be around once a month.  I gotta get over my possessiveness issues.  This will be a good learning experience.  When I move to Florida in a few months things will end.  Maybe I'll see or be with him again after that but a good possibility I will not be sexually with him for awhile or ever again.  There is a guy in Florida I have a thing for and I just feel like it might turn into something.  Not sure.  But if it does then it will most likely be monogamous because he is of that mindset.  I don't know if I'm quite ready for true polyarmory but if I did venture that way it would have to be with someone who is pretty comfortable and even-minded about it.  Florida guy is not in that zone.  I've done ok lately with monogamy.  I think that either way there is still the issues that people in relationships have to deal with.  Maybe if I can get a grip on them in monogamous relationship then I will have a better grasp on them in a possible future polygamous one.  I would love to find a "forever mate"  I look at old couples and see that bond and I really really want it.  I'm not sure if Florida guy is the one but he may be a good stepping stone towards finding that life-mate.