Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Poetry is so varied and interesting. It can be seen as pretentious by some and it has that potential. Yet the people involved run the gamut of human emotions and personalities.

I've struggled with my own. I think that my poetry is one aspect of my writing career that I have maintained the most. I really do need to write more. I probably should go through my journals to pick out pieces to clean up. I should also write more as well as learn to perform it as well.

Poetry will probably never make me money or at least not much. Yet it is so good to express like that. I wish poetry was appreciated better. I wish good literature was better appreciated.

The dumbing down of America sucks for so many reasons.........

Love and Loss

I envy those who are lucky enough to be able to spend the rest of their lives with their first great love. Not just that but have a good relationship with them as well. It does not even have to be the first but the second or third...shit any.

I once read that people only have three great loves in their lifetime. I thought about it and realized I already had mine. It brought me great distress. I still have a bit of anxiety about it. Am I forever doomed?

My analytical nature has been a stumbling block. Although one wonders if it has preserved me for something better. A relationship that blends that intense devotion, with steadfast love, common interests and goals, and mutual respect is of the highest sort. Why is it so rare? I can not but help to blame our culture for its lack of commonality and need for instant gratification.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Good Day...

A little klutziness in the beginning and the end but overall a great day.

Had breakfast with my family. The crepes were kinda sucky though.

Went home and caught up with Dexter, which is awesome this season. Then made snowmen with my niece. She had a bit of a tantrum but I showed Mom how to handle it.

I took a nap.

When I woke up we cracked open the geodes and split the booty.

We went to get roller skates or blades. Finally talked her out of roller blades after her trying them on. Then we went rollerskating in the park. I also got her to wear knee pads so she could fall better and learn faster.

After that we played on the playground. I forgot the pure joy of swinging. It was fun climbing everything too but it was swinging that set me free. I was transported back to childhood. I wanted to swing for a long time yet my grownup interrupted. It was getting late and we needed to get home and go to bed.

I watched Criminal Minds while working on Christmas list and shopping on Also I started to try to teach myself binary while watching Mythbusters. Then a monster making show came on. This specific one was trying to figure out what a scientific dragon would look and be like. They looked at various animals and insects, current and extinct. While watching I broke open two pomegranates. I ate some and drank some raspberry beer while watching Young Frankenstein. Still watching and doing various things online.

Simple pleasures. Event filled. General sense of happiness and overall well being.

Now I have the choice: To watch Star Trek Nemesis or not. Do need sleep but what a great ending to my night that would be :)

Literary Diatribe into a Daydream

I really want to do something new with the English language and literature like my heroes. There is thousands of writers out there...many good ones. How does one stand out? The best known ones these days are generally sub-par for the masses. So many innovators and wanna be ones make it such a daunting task to stick out and be noticed. All artists have to have at least some manner of ego to accomplish great things. Generally it is a very big ego and not always tempered with humility. Yes....ego and humility can coexist.

I'm also starting to have book and short story ideas again. I'll have basic ideas but not anything I think I can flesh out sooner than later. I don't want to be definable which they won't let me but If I can have at least 3 labels applied to my book then that is undefinable to me. Science fiction and chick lit are where my most of my ideas fall into. I even have a few children's books in my head.

I need to make the time for writing. I've finally found what I want to do in life (well part of it...the part I'd most likely make some half decent money at) and now I don't have the resources that I used to have. It will be awhile before I have anything I would even try to have published. I think I will focus on essays and short stories and in about a year I will have enough to find an agent and get that whole enchilada in the oven.

Who knows if I'll get something new going but my urge to write is so huge I can't deny it. I also want to make stuff and have a house and a garden...maybe a small farm: a horse, chickens, a peacock and lots of cats and dogs at the very least. I wouldn't be averse to sheep, alpacas, or tons of horses. A girl can dream.........