Thursday, November 26, 2009

Parting is such sweet sorrow

That is if you ever really part. I guess I'm just delaying. The inevitable that is. I wish it wasn't so but it is. My boyfriend may be cheating on me. Strangely I wouldn't care if he hadn't made us be exclusive. Not that I was against being exclusive. I'm not sure of my preference and I've had open relationships.

Also I think he may be a pathological liar. At least some type of liar. That is harder to prove especially when your mind hasn't been at the top of its game.

I just can't move right now and we live together. Also I'm not quite sure of either of the above. I don't have definitive proof. We have fun together and in general I enjoy spending time with him. I'm going to try this a bit more. My mind is a bit clearer these days. If I still think I'm seeing what I"m seeing in a few months then I'll leave.

Actually I have a bit of a plan for being way more ready to move. I haven't been organized since my fire so that is number one. Also we don't have much space in our combined households and I've already said to him that I was going to cull some of my stuff. Especially the decorative stuff. That will be in totes. I can take some of this to my parent's place. Some stuff I was planning on not packing up because I wanted to use it to start my business. I'll pack some of it up because I can only do so much in the next few months. Despite my hope that the situation will improve or that I read it wrong in the first place I'm a realist. If I'm wrong I can always get it out again. I'm not exactly sure where it is going to go anyway. I was hoping to store some of it in the basement and if it is organized and labeled I can have easier access. With our amount of room it just isn't going to be able to be as visual as I would like it to be. Wow that was a lot of "to be"s.

I will focus on Christmas. Then I will work on my business and start to make a little money so I have something to fall back on. The whole time I can organize and repack stuff. Meanwhile my boyfriend and I can do our song and dance. At least I have goals....

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