I was blessed with 10 grandparents at birth: 6 great-grandparents and 4 grandparents. All of them gave me love...grandparents are good at that. They each showed their love in different ways. I can carry the love and the lessons of their love with me for the rest of my life. I can also pass them on. Yet it still hurts to not have them here any more.
I just lost my last one a few weeks ago. Growing up she was the grandparent I disliked the most. She didn't have much patience for us hyper kids. As I got older we got to know each other better and I realized that even though some of us weren't her "favorites" we still received love from her in her own way. She lived half decently long but both her parents lived a lot longer. She was very active and strong. Embolisms can strike down the best of us. We all thought she would be around for another 10-20 years.
So now I walk this world without grandparents. Its a good thing my mother and I have been patching things up between us. Yet...there is nothing like grandparents: especially the good ones. It just feels so empty.
I can't help but think how lucky my favorite grandmother didn't die last. I dont' think I could take the double shock of her loss with the complete loss of grandparents. I had a very very hard time with her death. I was on meds but I was a complete mess. I even remember wishing my grandmothers could switch places. Not that I wanted my mother's mother dead it was just I didn't know how I was going to survive without my dad's mother. She embodied unconditional love. I used to spend at least a week with my dad's parents in the summer and I also look a lot like her. Even now I am sobbing a few years later.
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